An Inadvertent Diet

How can you be on an inadvertent diet, you ask?  Beats me!  I wasn’t really planning on it.  It most definitely wasn’t a New Year’s Resolution.  It just happened.  It seemed a good idea at the time.  You know — one of those spur of the moment decisions.  Actually, does anyone go on a diet on the spur of the moment?  I usually think about it for a long time and then only decide to do something when none of my pants fit any longer.  You know, down to your last two pairs you have to keep laundering to have something to wear.  It’s go on a diet or buy new clothes. At this stage of my life, I’d rather spend my money on other things than replace perfectly good clothes because I can’t zipper them.  Or I can get them zippered, I just can’t move in them.  Or breathe in them.  I know a few of you are with me here.  Back in the ’70s and ’80s, I worked in the weight loss industry, so I know you’re out there.  I know how to do it, I just don’t do it.

But this time, I have to credit my real life and Facebook friend, Melissa, for putting the idea in my head.  I enjoy keeping up with her via FB and one day she posted that she was starting a certain diet  — The Dash Diet. I had never heard of it before, so I Googled it.  Okay … it seemed doable.  I immediately went onto Amazon and bought the book for my Kindle.  Actually, there are several, but I just bought one.  Then I announced to my partner, Jim, that we were going on a diet.  Jim is ready to go anywhere, so if “going” is in the sentence, he’s all in.  You know I’m really not sure when he heard “going”, he didn’t think maybe we were going on another cruise.  But diet it is.  And he’s amenable to this.

Aside from the fact my pants have become snug, it’s really Jim I wanted to do this for.  He’s put on enough weight that it’s a problem for his knees.  And when you’re our age, that can be a considerable problem.  Well, actually, any age, I guess.  And I knew if I got him on board, I would benefit as well.

The last time I went on a diet with a man was when my husband and I did it back in the ’60s (?).  I decided on the grapefruit diet and since he would eat whatever I put on the table, including that dammed grapefruit at every meal, why not try it?  At the end of that nasty week, I couldn’t wait to get on the scale to see how much I lost.  What????  Nothing????  Not a single pound?  Are you kidding me?  Then my husband got on — yep, seven pounds. He didn’t even need to lose any weight!  I hated him, at that moment.

Years later when I worked in the industry, I learned men lose faster because they have more muscle mass, therefore they burn the calories faster.  It’s just a fact of life, folks!  We women just have to accept it.

So anyway, I am accepting of the fact that Jim will lose more than me — and that’s a good thing.  I want him to be able to walk around and go sightseeing with me without his knees hurting. In the process, maybe we’ll both get off the medications we seem to have accumulated as we’ve aged.  And that will definitely be a good thing.

No — I’m not going to give you a weekly play by play of our success (or failure).  I’m a realist.  We’ve got to do this a day at a time — a meal at a time.  It takes commitment, which can waver on any given day.  And I don’t want to be one of those people who glory in telling everyone how great they are now that they’ve lost weight.  And what we ought to do and how we ought to do it.   I promise to Duct tape Jim’s mouth if he starts.  Those of you who know us will see if we’re successful.  Or not.  And we will, humbly, take all the applause you want to give us!  Wish us luck!!